Positive Problem Solving Not Negative Complaining Challenge

A commitment to problem solving, rather than just complaining about things, is a major attitude shift for fulfilling oneself and others in life. Strephon Kaplan-Williams, psychologist-philosopher, podcaster takes you through the process. Instant change is possible out of his challenge to stop complaining in life.

I once worked at an innovative treatment center as the chief psychotherapist. There in one of the memos to all our seventy staff I put out a direct order to stop complaining. It led to positive results, because of course I could not act like some army general, but I could highlight the issue in a dramatic way.

With all my students and clients in therapy I have suggested ending complaining, but of course not in a direct memo to my clients.

You might ask, since when is complaining a bad thing? Why can’t I complain once in awhile? It doesn’t hurt anybody.

Have you ever been at the dinner table with a constant complainer?

Maybe you have been the one at the dinner or breakfast table and began to complain at how the food was cooked?

No complaining means no complaining! You can say instead, “Hey this food is great! It’s really special. Maybe the eggs are a little, well, overdone, but, hey, who’s complaining? We’re lucky to be alive, aren’t we?”

What then is wrong with complainers, including ourselves? Why would you want to stop complaining in life?

It goes like this: the definition of complaining is talking negatively about some experience that has happened to you, but without doing anything about it.

Yes, complainers are maybe good at making problems, or seeing problems, but do they do anything about their complaints?

No! The one thing you will never see is a complainer who solves the problem instead of just bitching about it.

If you want to stop complaining then you can choose to adopt the attitude that there is a creative solution to every problem?

Wouldn’t that be creative? Imagine how your life would be then? Maybe you would suffer a lot less in life? Maybe you would be more successful at what you do? Maybe you would not let things get you down, like the difficulties of life?

So here are the tasks if you choose to adopt them: one, is to simply stop complaining. Whenever you find yourself not liking something, keep your negative reaction to a minimum and ask yourself, how can we improve the situation right now?

”These eggs maybe lack a little something. Let’s try some tomato sauce with them. I think I will put my fried egg on a piece of toast and add some grated raw onion to it. I bet that tastes good!“

See how relatively easy it is to go into the problem-solving mode? It’s not denying that something may not be that good in the moment, but don’t go negative. Simply figure out how to immediately improve the situation.

Remember our second task: practice the wisdom principle that there is a creative solution to every problem.

This way you won’t get weighed down by your own or other people’s negativity.

A more positive attitude leads to seeing more positive possibilities in life.

How do you like this little article?

Hey, it may not be the best I can do but it’s the best I can do in this moment with the time I have. Hope you get something useful from it!

Strephon Kaplan-Williams is a writer-psychologist who devotes his time to doing podcasts on the internet on a variety of life subjects, as well as to how to write books. His sites are – Strephon Says, and, The Writer’s Interface.