When love is true you can kiss.
When love is false, or not compatible, you cannot kiss the other person over and over again and feel what you should be feeling when kissing a true love.
Some of us already know this from our earliest kissing experiences. Yet, then again, in the business of life we may have forgotten this simple truth of nature, of the instincts, and of the soul.
Instincts are our genitals in interaction. Sexual desire and expression are our bodies and instincts at work to generate desire for the other person, and as in the old days, pregnancy and children.
Love compatibility between the sexes is not built by sexual desire, love-making techniques and free sexual expression.
Many of us have had the experience of having an intense sexual relationship with a person we are not compatible with in values, life-style and soul to soul understanding and liking of each other. We have mistakenly tried to feel connected to the other person through enhanced or at the edge sexual practices, or through technique and mind-altering experiences. We have even used the sexual function to create babies in the hope of keeping ourselves together with the wrong partner for us.
This is a waste of love potential. Therefore, if you don’t really like kissing your love partner, even thoughout the day when you have time to be together, then what are you two doing together? You should not be together because the soul-to-soul connection is not there. You cannot build a soul-to-soul connection. It is either there or not there, and you know it through the kiss.
◦ This kiss indicates the freedom with which you can express yourself to the other person.
◦ The kiss represents the truth of how you sense the person being present with you.
◦ The kiss shows you if you are being insincere in kissing the other person, while thinking of something or someone else.
◦ Through the sensitivity of your mutual lips in contact with each other you know if you are being fully present, and if the other person is being fully present with you.
◦ Through your experience of staying in love with the other person you know this is true if you are kissing each other often and regularly through the years.
◦ Parents have to be careful with children around that they do not stop kissing each other regularly, and at times of feeling throughout the day. They can also include affectionate kissing with the children on a regular basis when you are sure the children like this kind of intensity and attention from you.
What do you do if your kisses with a certain person have lost their passion?
What if fairly recently you have let yourself be kissed by another person besides your regular relationship partner? What if you really enjoyed it?
Ask yourself then if it is time to move on?
Even with small children it is better that you both as parents be with the right person for each of you than be with each other when there is not the right chemistry between you, as indicated by the frequency and energy transfer of your regular kissing together.
No, you are not “eating up” each other’s faces, though you can play with that sometimes also. You are uniting to deep and transparent levels when you kiss a true partner for you.
You have to be real to kiss soul to soul. The soul cannot be faked since it is the most true part of us. The soul is that incorruptible core of our being where we reside and know it as our true selves. When we are one with ourselves we experience soul, the core being that is us and in life itself.
When we are faking it, living a superficial or artificial personality, for whatever reasons, then we can sense it, others can sense it. We are not being our real selves.
You would think that in the most intimate of relationships where we get naked and have sex together, sleep in the same bed night after night, that we would not want to fake it.
However, the opposite is often true. We find ourselves with an incompatible person, and instead of accepting the fact and ending the relationship, we keep it going, doing the behaviors of intimacy, like mating and kissing together, but without our heart and souls behind them.
What’s in a kiss?
Everything. Trust the kiss. Know from it your ability to unite and share completely with this other person. If you are not open to this, or they are not fully open to you in this, then don’t try the kiss, don’t keep going with the kiss.
Don’t try rationalism. Don’t say to yourself, because this person seems to love me so much I will then give in and relate to them. It doesn’t work in the long run. Better to be alone and available for the right kiss than to be on familiar terms with the person who is just not right for you.
When they have not met you in the kiss, they have not met you.
When they have left you in the kiss they have left you forever.
When they have not given themselves fully to your kiss they cannot give themselves fully with you, yet with another maybe they can.
It’s all in the kiss.
When you cannot find a person with your kiss and theirs together, you cannot find that person. Don’t try. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Let it go. Let that person go. You don’t have to mate. You don’t have to live together. You certainly don’t have to have children together.
You will know this all with the kiss. But it might take some time of course. In the meanwhile, remember, it is the kiss that counts!
Strephon Kaplan-Williams is a writer-psychologist who has worked with couples professionally for many years as a relationships counselor besides his other interests, such as in dreamworking the dream for life direction and purpose. See his two sites at: Strephon Says, and, The Writer’s Interface.
